Separating the Evitable from the Inevitable 

‘True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing’ – Socrates

How much time do we spend worrying about what is yet to come? What percentage of our mind is actually focused on the present, rather than fixated anxiously on a point far out in the future?

In light of this thought, let me introduce you to the topic of this blog via a short, one-woman play written by me:

‘In conversation with one’s own mind’

Me: It won’t happen.

Them: But.. it could..though?

Me: No, it won’t happen. It won’t be like that. It’s ludicrous.

Them: Yeah, you’re right. It won’t happen.

Me: It could do though, couldn’t it?

Them: Yes, it definitely could.

Me: Well, shit.

Them: Shit.

(The End)

If this narrative hits all-too close to home, then keep on reading.

Is overthinking…a good thing?

While some argue that overthinking in small doses is healthy in as much as you are exercising your mind to work beyond its usual capacity, it’s the obsessive overthinking and intense worrying which can wreak pure havoc. By allowing your mind to work at a thousand miles an hour, and to process lots and lots of information all at once, is certainly not advantageous in any way.

As an avid over-thinker, becoming hung up on – distracted, worried, upset, you name it – a certain situation where I absolutely think I know and understand what the outcome is going to be, is an ongoing struggle of mine.

The cycle usually goes something like this: I’ll become fixated upon a certain event (this can be as insignificant as something which has happened at work, for example), start to worry about the outcome of the event, tell myself that I’m being silly and worrying for nothing, then wonder if I should be worrying and convince myself that yes, I definitely should be. It’s a vicious circle to say the least.

While the stress of an ‘overthinkathon’ has not as yet been successfully dissolved by encouraging words such as ‘oh, it will be fine’, or ‘just think positively’, I have, however, come up with a (sort of) philosophy over time to cope with it. It’s two-fold:

Accepting that you have absolutely no control whatsoever over the future 

This is a big ask, and something which is very difficult to do, since the whole idea of overthinking centres around trying to have some sort of say about the future. But someone once said to me that by overthinking, and worrying about a certain situation as a result of overthinking, you are essentially allowing yourself to experience negativity twice. The worry leading up to the situation, and the actual outcome of the situation itself. For some reason, this outlook has really stuck in my head.

What I’m basically saying is, I try to live the present as it occurs in the present, rather than trying to pull the future back into the present, because at some point the future will occur in the present, but until then I should just try to stay in the present. Does that make sense? No? Whew.

Separating the evitable from the inevitable 

This all boils down to distinguishing between what you know, and what you think you know.

The evitable, in this case, can be defined as that which is avoidable, the outcome(s) you are worrying about, which may not happen. The inevitable, then, is that which is certain to happen. There is nothing that can be done to prevent the inevitable happening.

When we overthink, we tend to flit back and forth between the evitable and the inevitable. Ultimately, we think we know what is going to happen, and our thoughts tend to drift towards visions of the worst possible inevitable situation.

But in reality, there could be a thousand ‘evitabilities’ as an outcome of one situation. And in most cases, the evitable is nowhere near as bad as the horrible scenarios our thoughts concoct. I try to break the cycle with a calming thought that I should not trouble myself with what may happen until it is actually happening.

So the next time you find yourselves in conversation with your own restless brain late at night, remind yourself that you know nothing, and that nothing is the only thing you need to know.

Just some food for thought, and now my brain hurts. Until next time, folks!